On Poetry, Prose, and Videogames

JLawrence Kenny

Useless

There is no feeling quite like that of being USELESS.
The feeling that
The idea that
The knowledge that
No matter what you do
Everything you do is wrong
     pointless
     WRONG
You are just a stepping stone to something better.
You wish that people hated you
If only
Just so
That way you are some USE
As someone’s antagonist
Instead of nobody
     a husk
      an empty shell
     a waste of space
But that’s WRONG to do
So then
So instead
You bottle up your ANGER
     ANGST
     USELESS
     disappointment
And smile for the world
Hoping they don’t notice
Begging them to notice
Wishing for peace of mind
And so you throw up walls
     walls
     walls around yourself
And your uselessness destroys
Your possessions, your friendships,
Your loves, your passions
And YOU
And you feel useless.
And you know you could stop it
And you don’t care
And you are to blame
And you are useless…

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How Could You?

How could you?

I understood before.
I could deal with it.
You said you needed space.
You said you needed time.
To get your thoughts together.
To deal with my mistake.

But this?

How could you?

How could you throw away a friendship?
How could you dismiss me so easily?
Did it mean so little to you?
Did I ever mean anything to you?
How am I supposed to react?
How am I supposed to react?

When you meant the world to me

And I am nothing to you

How could you?

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An Drochshaol

Some would call it a Famine,
But that is a torrid falsehood.

In Famine, no food is to be found.

Here, there is plenty of food,
But none of it is for us. Read the rest of this entry »

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My Life

I stand in darkness,
Silence.
Thinking thoughts that aren’t mine,
Wearing clothes that aren’t mine,
Moving in ways that aren’t mine.

I stand in moonlight,
Whispers.
Watching friends I don’t know,
Hearing words I don’t  know,
Knowing things I don’t know.

I stand in twilight,
Murmurs.
Telling stories that aren’t real,
Seeing places that aren’t real,
Using objects that aren’t real.

But when I stand in the spotlight,
Thunderous.
Those thoughts become mine,
Those friends become mine,
Those stories become mine.

Because I am an actor.

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Like A Turtle

Like a turtle, I withdraw into a safe place of comfort.

Though I want nothing more than to explore my horizons,
The world outside is too hard to face.

I endeavour to soar with the eagles.
I attempt to swim with the dolphins.
I try to run with the cheetahs.

But in the end, I am ostracized,
And must hide away from the pain.
I must hide away
From the inevitable sting of defeat.

For though I want nothing more than to have a friend,
The safe shelter of my shell is the only thing
That can protect me from the harshness
Of the things I can never have,
And the failed opportunities I dare not face.

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A Flash Of Blades

Steel

The sword floats in the air,
Its silvery blade gleaming.

Hungry

The razor-sharp edge glistens
As it slices through the air,
Missing its mark by inches.

Thirsty

The ornate handle shows elegance,
Reflecting the weapon it adorns.

Beautiful

The clang of metal meeting metal
Rings like a toll of the Grim Reaper
At the end of days.

Deadly

Scratches and dents adorn the steel,
Remnants of battles long past.

Experienced

Crimson red liquid runs down its length
As it finally reaches its mark,
And leeches life from its victim.

Victorious

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Winter Haiku

Snowflakes fall gently,
Bleaching the world of color.
Winter Wonderland

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Rondelet on Autumn

Autumn comes now,
A pleasant chill pervades the air.
Autumn comes now
That summer is gone and winds plough
Through the light clothes we once wore. Fair
Is the breeze that harkens winter.
Autumn comes now.

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Eidolons of Gran Pulse – Brynhildr

By the grace of Etro, warrior maiden be drawn by the fires of battle.
Come forth, wreathed in blazing glory.
Your Rousing Inferno terrorizes all with your fury,
Discouraging those who would seek to quarrel.
The Ethereal Blaze that surrounds your vessel
Shall burn to cinders any who provoke thee,
And with ease, your enemies shall swiftly foresee
The demise of those who with Eidolons meddle.

As you burst forth swiftly, racing through
Your enemies, they will with dying groans exclaim,
As you follow your powerful master’s bidding.
Múspell Flame, burn those who dare challenge you.
A name in blood, a pact of flame.
Brynhildr shall rise, her bond eternal and unyielding.

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Eidolons Of Gran Pulse: Shiva

By the grace of Etro, twin rulers arise from your icy thrones.
Come forth, sisters of Winter wastes.
In you, our trusts are placed.
Let not your presence remain unknown,
Lest your enemies’, you do condone.
Stiria, heal comrades with haste,
As Nix destroys those in frost encased,
And soon shall the tyrant be dethroned.

Two tires screech against the cement,
Knowing their speed will suffice.
A wall of ice, your weapon wielding.
Diamond Dust, freeze those of hot temperament.
A name in blood, a pact of ice.
Shiva shall rise, her bond eternal and unyielding.

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